


Let me hold you in the safety of the night

by Multifandom_damnation



Series: Brothers, Remember? [4]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alcohol, Broken Bones, Delusions, Developing Friendships, Dreams and Nightmares, Drinking to Cope, Fear of Death, Fever, Fever Dreams, Gen, Gunshot Wounds, Hallucinations, Illnesses, Infection, Loss of Trust, Out of Character, Possession, Self-Hatred, Self-Pity, Sleep talking, Sobbing, Team Dynamics, Team as Family, Trust Issues, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Whining, and percy is out of his mind, basically Vax looks after a very sick Percy, but vax loves him, let me know if more tags need to be added
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-03 18:36:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16331402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multifandom_damnation/pseuds/Multifandom_damnation
Summary: A fight goes wrong and Percy is seriously hurt in the process, catching a serious fever that has taken hold of his battered and broken body long before they made it to the tavern. Pike is all out of healing and everyone else is too tired to stay conscious for much longer.Vax volunteers to look after Percy through the night, to repay him for all the times Percy's done it for Vax.





	Let me hold you in the safety of the night

Admittedly, there were many places Vax would rather have been than an old forgotten crypt hidden deep under thousands of pounds of stone that once was the proud home of a tyrannical noble, surrounded by the moaning ghosts who were tortured until they died and rotted within this very dungeon.

The first to become possessed was Vex, as she turned to Keyleth and fired an arrow that missed the druid by inches. Then came Scanlan, who spun on Pike with Mythcarver held tightly in his hand. Grog was holding his own against Trinket as the bear slashed at Grog and drew thin rivulets of blood.

A loud, echoing _crack!_ that reverberated around the chamber brought him back to the present as he leapt away from the path of Percy’s oncoming bullet, the gunslinger's eyes glowing blue like the others and mouth twisted into a sinister snarl that did not deserve to be put on that face.

“For gods sakes Freddy!” Vax called in frustration as he flung a dagger at his friend. “I’m getting real sick of this!”

Predictably, Percy did not reply, only reached up to pull out the dagger embedded in his shoulder out with a grunt and stare down the sights of Bad News at Vax.

Vax ducked behind a large pile of rubble, shoulder to shoulder with Keyleth. “Hi,” Keyleth said, a quiver to her voice as the hand on her arm glowed with healing energy. There was an arrow sticking out of her skin. “You’re sister… is a really good shot.”

“That she is.” Vax leant over and kissed her on the mouth before pulling away. “Just be lucky you got arrows. I’m stuck with the shooty-shooty bang-bang.” With a sly smile, he slipped into the shadows.

From somewhere off to his right, he could hear Pike begging, whispering quietly to Scanlan to wake up and stop, but instead, the bard raised his hand and a shockwave of thunderous energy flew forth from his body and Pike was flung back into the wall with a strangled cry. Grog roared and charged Scanlan, picking the gnome up and throwing him away, the goliath’s back to Pike. “I don’t care who you are or who you’re being controlled by.” He snarled. “ _Nobody_ hurts my buddy Pike.”

Stopping, Vax saw that now he was behind Percy, the human's body covered in gashes and bruises, his coat covered in his own blood and ankle twisted at a slightly odd angle. Vax had a moment to feel sympathy for his friend and his poor luck in the previous battle before he dived the pommel of his dagger into the back of Percy’s head. “Sorry about this bud.”

Lurching forward, Percy groaned, before spinning around with speed unnatural for the human and ramming his sword into Vax’s stomach. “ _Oof-_ ” Vax stumbled backward and Percy swung at him again, clipping his shoulder and drawing more blood from the wound. Percy abandoned Bad News and stood, the ghost apparently forcing Percy’s body to ignore the suspected fracture of his ankle, and pointed Animus at Vax.

“How much can these fuckers take?” He shouted, digging a dagger into Percy’s shoulder. “I’m running out of gas here.”

“From experience, I think anything holy works well,” Keyleth called back, raising a stone wall to protect her from another volley of Vex’s arrows. “Pike, is that something you can handle?”

Groaning, Pike raised her hand from where she lay crumpled on the floor and a blast of holy energy flashed from her fingertips. The ghost in Scanlan fluttered as he was pushed back, Trinket falling to the ground with his eyes closed, the ghost possessing him rising and dissolving into mist. “That’s… that’s all I got.” Pike panted as Scanlan shook the fog out of his head and blinked in confusion. “For now at least. Sorry.”

Vax’s reply was cut short as a festering blast of white-hot pain flared into his body, a flash of energy finding its way into his brain. He looked down and saw the blood pouring around the bullet wound, Percy’s gun pointed at his chest. “You mother fucker.” Vax ground out through grit teeth. “You actually shot me. You little pompous prick.” But Percy was already moving, snatching up Bad News and dropping off the outcropping, too far away for Vax to hit.

A blast of purple lightning shot at where Percy had just been, narrowly missing Vax as the rouge dived forward to follow his possessed friend, and he looked over to see Scanlan winching and sheepishly rubbing the back of his head. “Sorry. Still a little out of it.” Vax rolled his eyes and continued his pursuit.

There was a gasp and Vax spared a second to watch Vex fall from her place on her broom, tired and disoriented, before Grog reached out and caught her in his arms, rubbing the ears of Minxie where she rubbed against his thigh. “Nice job Keyleth.”

  _Just me and Percy then,_ Vax thought as he followed his friend through the darkness. _Where are you, you sneaky fucker._

He got his answer when he felt more heat rush through his body, followed soon after by the sharp pain that Vax was now unfortunate beginning to attribute to Percy’s guns. He had never thought about it, but Percy’s guns _hurt_. More than Vax had ever expected and he suddenly hoped that he never got on Percy’s bad side again.

“Come out, come out,” Vax called, digging his dagger into the darkness. By Percy’s grunt, he knew he had hit his mark. Suddenly, Percy was behind him, and a bullet went through his thigh. “When you snap out of this, I’m going to be making you dig all these bullets out of me yourself.” He growled, but he knew it wasn’t true.

Vex was calling for him, his name echoing in the caverns as he dodged another strike from Percy. He knew that in the darkness, Percy’s sight was the bare minimum. He couldn’t help but wonder if the ghost was somehow giving his friend the ability to see in the dark.

Another bullet ricocheted off of the stone as Vax spun away, leaving Percy growling from where he stood. Vax flung a dagger, a last-ditch, desperate attempt, and Percy stumbled. The blue glow to his eyes faded and the once supercharged room turned bitingly cool. “V-vax…” Percy muttered, swaying on his feet, pain evident in his face as he watched the dagger embedded inside him disappear in a puff of dark smoke and reappear in Vax’s belt. “What- why…?” Then the frigid coldness faded from the room and Percy’s eyes glowed once more, body straightening and gun raising.

“We were so close, Freddy.” Vax sighed. He dove behind Percy and planted his hand firmly on the humans back before casting _Devine Smite_ and stabbing him again. The light from his spell flared around Percy and Vax felt his friend lean heavily against him as Percy’s eyes rolled up into his head. “Hey, handsome,” Vax whispered, patting Percy’s face. “I can’t heal you. Get the fuck up.” To Vax’s expectations, Percy didn’t stir.

Groaning, he reached a hand up to his ear. “Hey Pike, I’ve gotten Percy free from the ghost-thing but he’s unconscious and I’m all out of healing juice.”

“Sorry Vax.” Came Pike’s reply, gritty from exhaustion. “I’m all out and Keyleth used the last of her spells healing Vex.”

“Not to worry. Let me just get Percy and we can get the fuck out of here.” Vax dropped his hand and steeled himself for the long, arduous journey of dragging Percy back to the others.

“Holy fuck Vax,” Vex said as he approached, Percy’s arm thrown over his shoulder and legs dragging on the floor before him. “You really fucked him up.” She rushed forward to help her brother, placing Percy’s other arm over her own shoulder.

“Yeah, well.” He grunted. “He wouldn’t stay the fuck down.”

Laying Percy gently down in the centre of the stone cavern, making sure there were noting underneath that would be uncomfortable, Vax stood. “Fuck he’s heavy.” He muttered to himself before facing the rest of the group and speaking louder. “Right. That’s done. Let’s just get the stuff we came here for and fuck off out of here."

“Grog, can you carry Percy?” Keyleth asked from where she had her hands on either side of Percy’s face, head pillowed on her lap, breathing now stabilized thanks to Keyleth.

Grinning, Grog reached forward and hefted Percy up. “I can always put him in the Bag of Holding?” He suggested before slinging Percy over his shoulder like a very posh backpack.

Scanlan sighed. “We have no potions? We always have heaps of potions. How are you going to heal him?”

“I supposed we’ll just have to wait for him to wake up in the morning.” Vax shrugged. “There’s nothing we can do for him now. But don’t feel entirely sorry for him-” he lifted his shirt, showing off the bleeding bullet holes Percy had left in him. “The fucker shot me. I’ll have to pick these out myself.”

Trinket came up behind Vax and bumped him. Vax reached down to pet the bear as Vex approached, shoving the last of the loot into her bag. “Stop being a baby, Vax. You probably hit him harder.”

Shaking his head, Vax moved away from Trinket and up to Percy. “It wasn’t all me. I watched him take a beating from the last battle. His ankle might be broken-” he heard Keyleth hiss in sympathy. “- and his sides got a bad gash along it. He probably needs to sleep this off anyway.”

Nodding, the troupe headed out, carefully following the trail around the cliff and back to the tavern. Percy didn’t stir once in Grog’s arms apart from a painful whine every now and then. Vax reached up and ran a hand through Percy’s blood-caked hair hanging down over his eyes. “Don’t worry Percival. We’ll take care of you.”

The tavern was old and dark and smelt thickly of melancholy. Percy muttered something while he slept, wounded mutterings and pitiful gasps and Vax couldn’t help feel sorry for the man. Some of this was his fault, he knew, and could not stop the pang of worry for his friend.

Percy’s skin was hot to the touch and when he called Pike over to have a look, she frowned that frown she got when she was worried something bad was going to happen. “I think he’s catching a fever.” She sighed. “His wounds are pretty dirty. He needs rest. I’ll heal him some more in the morning but right now, we need to make sure it doesn’t get worse.”’

“Should one of us stay with him?” Grog asked as he gently lowered Percy down on the bed.

“I can do it,” Vax said, surprising himself and earning strange looks from the others. He shrugged. “I dealt most of his damage. The least I can do is help him heal.”

Pike looked at him in tried relief. "You would? Thanks, Vax."  
  
"Get out, all of you." Vax ushered the group through the door. "Don't fret, I've got it handled." The door closed with a soft click and Vax turned around to face the unconscious man on the bed.   
  
Dragging a chair over from the corner of the room, Vax sat beside the bed and raked his fingers through snow-white hair. "Don't worry, Freddy," he said gently "now it’s my turn to fix _you_ up."  
  
There was a small washbasin in the corner and Vax quickly rose to fill a bucket with cool water before sitting back down and rinsing a cloth. He placed it across Percy's forehead before wetting another one and rubbing it up and down the human’s body, cleaning the cuts and cooling down the feverish skin of his friend. Pike had left a simple medical kit, filled with gauze, bandages, ointments and needle and thread for stitching.   
  
Vax repeated the process many times over the next hours, minutes, hell it could have been days and Vax would have done it gladly. He was shocked at the speed at which a fever could take a body and knew that in the morning, Pike would get rid of it twice as quick.  
  
Occasionally, Vax would hear Percy mumbling, head tossing and body shaking as he spoke to his late family and had conversations to his sister and muttered about Orthax and feebly begged for Ripley to stop doing something that Vax felt like his ears didn't deserve to hear, so he whispered to Percy and cooed him until his friend breathed deep and easy again.  
  
At some point, Vax woke up to Percy thrashing and writhing on the bed, sweat beading on his brow and hands clenching tightly to the sheets. Not knowing he had fallen asleep in the first place, Vax lurched forward and gripped his friend by the shoulder. "Percy," he soothed. "Percival, you're alright, calm down." He dunked the cloth back into the cold water and dabbed it on his head. "You're alright, I'm here."  
  
Suddenly, Percy's eyes snapped open, staring deliriously at the ceiling before they focused on Vax, one hand dipped in a bucket of water and the other gently rubbing Percy's cheek. "Vax?" Percy breathed, starting Vax, who wasn't paying attention. "What’s going on? Why is it so cold?"  
  
"You have a fever, Freddy," Vax said gently "And you're pretty beat up. I think you're ankle's broken."  
  
"The ghosts?" Percy asked.  
  
"Gone," Vax reassured. "We got the bracelet too. You shot me a few times but not to worry."  
  
"Everything hurts," Percy moaned, sounding so pitiful and out of character for the noble. Vax wondered is the fever was worse than he thought. "I want it to stop."  
  
"Hey, hey," Vax hushed, pushing the sweat-slick hair out of his face. "None of that now. You'll be ok, I'm here."  
  
"I wish mother were here," Percy wined, kicking his legs slightly under the thin bed covers. Vax was surprised at how childish Percy was acting and was slightly glad he never had the misfortune to catch a fever. "She would always make everything better."  
  
"I’m sure she did," Vax said softly. "I hope you're able to deal with me though."  
  
Percy mumbled something unintelligible before tossing his head. "Things could be better."  
  
"Sorry, but you'll just have to make do." Vax continued to pat Percy down and tutted when Percy tried to jerk away. "Come now, none of that. You're burning up, I need to cool you down."  
  
"But it's so cold." Percy groaned, trying to edge away from Vax's hand. "Where’s Pike?"  
  
"She’s sleeping, you dolt." Vax chastised. "She's exhausted like everyone else. Where you always such a whiney baby?"  
  
"I was never afraid of dying when I was at home." Percy sighed. That caught Vax off guard and his hand hovered above Percy's face, caught in motion. A droplet of water fell from the cloth, landing on Percy's face and he winced.  
  
"What do you mean?" Vax knew he shouldn't pry, knew Percy was delusional and wounded and not in his right mind but Vax had always been a man of action, of impulse and this was no exception.   
  
"We fight for our lives every day," Percy explained, tired and worn, "and I'm always afraid that one day I will die and that will be the end of me."  
  
"You're not going to die, Percy," Vax promised. "We wouldn't let that happen. And if you did die, don't think for a second that we wouldn't do everything in our power to get you back."

“I often dream of dying,” Percy said and yes, Vax knew, could hear him muttering sometimes about it in his sleep. “I will be dead long before any of you.”

Vax continued cooling Percy down with the cloth in silence because he knew how true that was.

“Your sister is rather marvellous, you know.” Percy yawned suddenly, surprising Vax.

"Excuse me?" Vax demanded without any of his usual heat.

"She can do anything," Percy said. Vax can hear the slur in his voice brought on by exhaustion and delusion. "She scares me because I don't feel like I deserve to be near her."

"You're a very lucky man, Freddy." Vax smiled. 

"I would not die for much, but I would die for that woman." Percy sighed, eyes closing. 

"Well... let's hope it doesn't get to that," Vax muttered.

"And you," Percy said suddenly.

"What?"

"I'd die for you too, you know." Percy yawned. "I value you very much.

Vax stuttered as he reached forward and tried to press his hand over Percy's mouth, but his friend wouldn't stay still. "Hush Percival, don't spill the beans. Keep it a secret."

"I've never had friends before but I feel you are the closest thing to it." Percy shook again and tried to borrow back into the covers. "Cold." He muttered, like a petulant child. Vax grabbed another blanket from a box under the bed and threw it over the human. "You mean the world to me. I don't know what I would ever do without you."

“Percy-”

“Sometimes I watch you and wonder… how you managed to become so spectacular.” Percy was rambling, and Vax dropped his hand, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to stop him. “And I remember asking Cassie how you do it and she just laughed at me and told me you were very special and I know that she was absolutely right.” He groaned as he moved his ankle and Vax watched his eyes roll into the back of his head, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes and mouth twisting into a tight, thin line.

“Give me a second,” Vax said before he bolted out the door and down the stairs to the bar, throwing gold at the barkeep who was asleep with their head down on the wood. “I need a tankard of your strongest liquor.” He shouted, making the barkeep jump and rush to fill the request. Vax looked around the tavern and saw Grog asleep with his head back against the wall, Scanlan nestled on his lap, empty mugs filling the table.

Vax wanted very much to rush up to Grog and draw on his face or pour ale in the seat he was on but no, the barkeep with slamming down a full tankard of alcohol and Vax was sprinting up the stairs with it.

Once Vax was back inside the room, he saw Percy trying to sit upright in bed. After placing the tankard on the bedside table, Vax grabbed pillows and helped Percy sit. “You idiot, you should have waited for me. Hang on, let me- there, now lie back. Is that better?”

Panting from the effort, Percy nodded, “It hurt to lie down.” He explained.

“Drink this.” Vax placed the mug against Percy’s lips and helped the human drink.

“What’s this for?” Percy asked once he pulled away and wiped his mouth with a shaking fist.

Smirking, Vax gulped some down and placed the mug back on the table. “We’re all out of healing potions and you were in pain. The best option is to drink until you’re numb and can’t feel it anymore.”

“That is a horrible coping mechanism.”

“Like yours are any better.”

“It hurts, you know,” Percy muttered, eyes distant and cloudy, lips trembling. Vax was acutely aware of the tears suddenly rolling down Percy’s face. He wiped them away with his sleeve but Percy didn’t seem to notice. “That we’re not friends anymore.” Vax’s breath caught in his chest and he paused. “I would lie down my life for you. I would let Ripley take me a thousand times and let Lord Briarwood turn me then let anything happen to you. But you… you can’t even stand to be in the same room as I let alone like me.”

Vax felt like a fish out of water, shocked and gasping at this… revelation. “Percy, you’re very sick. You should rest, you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I’m well enough to understand hate, Vax.” Percy sobbed and Vax felt something evil clutching at his heart and squeezing. Percival Fredrickstein Von Mussel Kowalski de Rolo III does not _sob_. Vax had never even seen Percy _cry_. “I saw it once we saved Cassandra and I saw it for years afterwards. I see it every time Craven Edge is brought up. I see it in your face every time I do anything, especially anything with Vex.”

“I don’t hate you, Freddy,” Vax said desperately. “Not even close.”

“But you do not trust me.” Percy’s sigh was shaky with emotion. “And I am so, so tired of not being trusted.”

“Percy…” Vax breathed, holding his friend close to his chest, careful of his wounds. “No, no, don’t cry, it’s alright.”

“No Vax, it’s not. For you will never care for me again and I cannot stop throwing myself on blades for you.” He looked Vax in the eyes and Vax saw a new sort of intensity to the gaze. “That ghost we fought was trying to possess _you_ , but I threw myself in front of you and I got it instead.”

“W-what?” Vax exclaimed. “Why didn’t I see it?”

“You had your back turned,” Percy muttered. “It doesn’t matter. But for you and your sister, I will always do anything I can.”

Vax could feel Percy trembling in his arms and held his friend tighter. “Why?” He knew he sounded hopeless and confused and he should really stop talking and asking so many questions for Percy’s sale but… “Why do you do it?”

“I am… rough with safety because I have never cared for anyone. So when you go rushing into places and get hurt, I am… disrespectful and grumpy because I am worried.” Percy took a breath. “When we freed Whitestone from the Briarwood's, you saved my sister from Anders and almost got yourself killed. After, I hit you, and told you never to do it again.”

“I remember,” Vax said cautiously.

“Do you remember what you said to me?” Percy asked, continuing at Vax’s blank expression. “'He had a blade to your sister’s throat. I would hope, that if my sister were in danger, you would do the same'.”

“You must have a very good memory.” Vax chuckled, “I hardly remember that. It was so long ago.”

“And when Vex almost died atop the ziggurat, I leapt off of the wall and almost broke my legs in an attempt to get her to safety.” He sighed and slumped in Vax’s arms, almost all the will to stay awake seeped out of him with those words. “I have always, and will always, sacrifice my life for that of you and your sister."

“You never need to, Percy," Vax whispered, pressing his friend's exhausted body closer to his own. "We never ask you to."

Sighing, Percy relaxed into the touch, rubbing his clammy skin against Vax's clothes. "I owe you more than anyone," he sounded tired. "And I hope that one day you can forgive me for my failures and transgressions, but until that day, I will try my hardest to earn your forgiveness."

Pressing his lips to Percy's temple, Vax looked town at the human. His skin was pale and soaked in sweat, his cheeks a bright red, his eyes distant and glassy and his face full of the utmost desperation and despair. "You don't have to wait, Freddy, because I have already forgiven you."

A dark, bitter chuckle left Percy's lips. "You tell me the same things in my dreams but once the day breaks, it is never true." He feebly tried to pull away but Vax tightened his hold. "And this is nothing but a fever dream because in our reality you would have no reason to sit with me while I ail in agony."

"I’m the one who got you into this mess." Vax protested. "I stabbed you and knocked you unconscious, so it's my fault."

"I distinctly remember shooting you multiple times." Percy retorted before freezing in Vax's arms and peering over his shoulder at something. "Hello, Cassandra," Percy said politely and Vax, in confusion, turned to look. "What are you doing awake this late?"

"Percy..." Vax muttered gently, rubbing a hand up and down the humans back. "There's no one there."

“Hush Vax,” Percy hissed before turning back to the empty doorway. “Did you have another nightmare? No, no, it’s no trouble at all, just give me a moment.” He tried to pull away from Vax, but the half-elf tightened his hold around his friend’s shoulders. “Let me go Vax, Cass needs me.”

“Freddy, listen.” Vax gripped Percy’s face. “It’s just you and me in here and I am not leaving you.”

“I don’t deserve to have anyone here,” Percy muttered, eyes glassy, thoughts of going to his sister forgotten “I’m not a nice person.”

Vax felt that he couldn’t argue with that. “You need to sleep, Percival. You’re unwell.”

"Unwell in body, unwell in spirit or unwell in mind?" He asked without humour. Suddenly, Percy blinked and tilted his head and smiled a lazy, tired smile. “Oh, hello Vax.” He breathed. “What are you doing here? I would have thought you’d be with your sister; you do share a room after all.”

“Share a room?” Vax blinked, confused. “Percy, Vex and I haven’t shared a room in ages.” He paused a took a deep breath. “Percy, you’re delirious. You need to sleep, otherwise, your fever will get worse.”

“It won’t matter anyway. Death comes for us all eventually.” Vax choked on his spit as Percy stared glassy-eyed up the ceiling. “Some seek it out, some call it into their homes, some have it follow them unwillingly, some are taken by it too soon. I have yet to figure out which I am guilty of. Quite a few things, I imagine.”

Sighing, Vax helped Percy lie back down onto the pillows and almost instantly Percy closed his eyes, exhausted. “Sleep now, Percival. I’ll be right here when you wake up.” Percy looked like he was about to object but fatigue pierced him with its claws and pulled him down into the darkness, Percy deep in its clutches. Vax smiled and placed a kiss on Percy’s forehead before setting back into his hair, a dagger twirling between his fingertips.

Later, Pike had stuck her head into the room, flushed and fully rested, and told Vax that they were going to leave soon, so he should go get ready while she healed Percy.

Vax was just feeding Simon when there was a knock on his door and Percy stood awkwardly in the doorway. Vax smiled. “Hey there Percy, you feeling any better?”

“Uh, yes. Much better.” Percy cleared his throat. “I just wanted to… thank you for last night. And apologise for anything I may have said or done while I was… unwell.”

Snorting, Vax stood, placing Simon back around his waist. “You have nothing to worry about, I didn’t mind. You would have done the same for me. Besides, it’s partially my fault that you were in that state.”

“Regardless, I would appreciate it if it were never brought up again.” Percy avoided Vax’s knowing eyes. “I don’t think the others need to know what happened.”

“Bring what up again?” Vax asked with a tilt of his head that made his hair fall to the side in a sheet and a smirk on his lips.

Smiling, Percy nodded. “I’ll see you outside.” He waved and left Vax alone in the unused bedroom. Shaking his head, Vax chuckled as he collected the things and reminisced on the stubbornness of nobles.  


End file.
